Trusting God, It's Hard

Looking back at this blog post I wrote about two months ago and didn’t release I am humbled by how the Lord has worked in my life and deepened my trust in Him through this trial.

Knowing that others are always blessed when we are willing to be vulnerable, I am now releasing this blog post with the hope and prayer that it will encourage you as you continue to learn to trust the Lord more and more everyday.
Trust, a word that we all are very familiar with, yet it is a word that we can have a hard time living out in our day to day lives.

The definition of trust is a firm belief or faith in another.

Throughout Scripture we are repeatedly told to trust the Lord. The most notable passage of this command no doubt being Proverbs 3:5-6.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

We know from the Word there is great danger in not trusting God.

In Proverbs 28:26a we are told that “Those who trust in themselves are fools.”

To be candidly honest, I have been struggling with trusting the Lord lately. Right now, I am in the middle of a lot of things in my life. I don’t know for certain what my next film project will be or whether I will ever make a film again. I don’t really even have a clear idea of what is going to happen in my life a month from now, how much less a year!

Checkmark of Agreement on Paper

There is a lot of uncertainty in my life and I don’t know which way anything is going to go.

On top of all this, I have felt stuck in studying the Word, desperately wanting to know that I am serving the Lord where He has placed me, yet I feel like I am going full throttle and all I’ve done is spin my wheels in the mud. (Psalm 102:1-2)

Yet, I recently did a reality check and asked myself a couple of questions.

The first question was, “Do I believe I am right where the Lord wants me?” Despite my doubts and fears, I knew the answer to that question, yes.

Secondly I asked myself, “Do I trust God?” My knee jerk reaction to that question was obviously yes! Yet then I thought it over some more. “Do I trust God?” I had just hit upon the root of my problem. I was not trusting God. I testified with my own lips I believed I was right where God wanted me and yet I felt discouraged.

So I dug a little more. “Why am I not trusting God?” In answering that question, this is what I found. It was because my idea of serving the Lord wasn’t getting fulfilled. Yes, I was serving in Awana, BSF, quizzing, Bible Bee and many other areas. Yet, it wasn’t necessarily the ministry I wanted. For me personally, I feel that one of my biggest callings is to minister in film and while yes, I was serving my local fellowship of believers with some video projects, none of my projects were coming into light and as of now, they still aren’t coming to light.

The root of my problem in trusting God was that I had decided how I wanted to serve the Lord and I wasn’t going to be content till that happened.

Isn’t this where so many, if not all of our problems come from? We don’t fully trust God.

God’s sovereign, right? God’s in control, correct? God’s perfect plan can never be thwarted, amen?

Do you, do I, believe that God has us right where He wants us to be? I know I do.

Looking at Scripture, it takes me right back to Luke 9:23, that calling from Christ to die to one's self daily and take up one’s cross and follow Him.

Sometimes I forget that God doesn’t need me, but that He choses to use me. I start thinking that I am like a five star general or that I’m the quarterback of the football team. I start trying to implement my own plans to save the world, my community, my unsaved friends and family. How quickly do I forget I am simply serving the King of kings and Lord of lords and where He places me, that is my mission field and that He does the saving, I just scatter the seed. (Jeremiah 29:11, John 20:21, 1 Corinthians 3:7)

Greenfield at Sunset

There is one final problem I believe we have in trusting God in where He has placed us. It is because of our wrong mindset when it comes to service. We tend to view certain ministries or acts of service as more important than others. "If I was only serving fill in the blanks, I’d be happy." Doesn’t that creep into our lives at times? It seems we are always fighting this temptation that wants to see ourselves glorified, rather than having a heart that says “I just want to be a background actor pointing all glory to Jesus.” (John 3:30)

My prayer is that I will continue to say throughout my life, “Lord, send me.” Then my next prayer is that I will go where He sends me, if that is on a multi-million dollar film set, a backyard film project, leading songs at Awana, facilitating a prayer meeting, stopping to chat with a homeless man, running errands for my parents, sending an email or a text of encouragement, spending a day with a friend or family member, moving to Africa to be an overseas missionary or sharing the gospel on national television. My prayer is that I would be faithful where God has placed me and I’d not only say “I trust You Lord,” but I would live that statement…

…even when I am not sure what is around the next bend in the road or even tomorrow.

“Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.” - Psalm 62:8